there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
