Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
