I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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