eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Drake has all the answers
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This toilet bowl is my home.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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