Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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