Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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