i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
