My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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