Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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