y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
