So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
well you can't waste a boner
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
