did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
