I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize