It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
