we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
as a side note pls kill me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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