Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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