If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
