its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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