I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
