I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
