He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
