i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am midnight drunk by noon
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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