is your mom at the bar?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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