garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
look no pants
She announced her abortion via fbk
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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