yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
