And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
