i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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