Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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