Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
