dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
