Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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