i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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