Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the condom got lost in my hair
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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