sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
