At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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