I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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