I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I got chris browned last night
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
bring money and cleavage
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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