No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
