I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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