Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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