I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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