So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
