Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
