Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
