Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
