then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
