i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
