4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
