haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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