It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He shit in the fireplace
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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