my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
