I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
