you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
