And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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