My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
