He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You are the jesus of drinking
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize