North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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