Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So much rum. So many feels.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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