i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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