dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
