Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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