I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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