My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it glows. i had to have it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
