i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
