just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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