Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
