I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
