Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
